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I blinked. Who else did she think was buttfucking her? "Uh, yeah..." Ohmigod!" Her eyes lit up and she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly to her and pressing her nose deep into the crook of my neck. "What are you doing here?"I blinked rapidly again. Was she serious? "Uh, you texted me to come over," I stammered.Dawn frowned and said, "I didn't text ... Ryan!" Her eyes went wide and she darted her head around the room. Ryan was gone. He was nowhere in sight. Without another word, she slipped off the bed and hurried naked to the doorway, looking around the apartment living room and finding it empty as well. Then she darted to the bathroom and the spare bedroom. And finally she went over to the front door, just as I was following her out from the bedroom.There was a note on the front door and Dawn raced over, snatched it in her hand, and brought it back over to me. I looked over her shoulder and silently read:Dawn —I wish I didn't have to be this drastic, but I just HAVE to. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.o As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.o Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it.o Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.o If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful.
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